Belong.

You held me close, said don’t let go and I fell into the arms of another

Skinned your knee, the rule of three, strike out the feelings of others

My mother concedes, press on the womb, but it feels so much more like a tomb

And I’ve escaped this alone.

 

My greatest fear, I’d keep you here, all you claimed was your freedom

I’m the same, selfish blame, my kids & the will to release them

Weeks spent between, swaddled here, amidst the loss of connection

Dreamt of you, and the chance to renew, do you still think of me too ?

And all you held in your hands, was never part of the plan. A page in the same book, no one but you and I understand— all that you hate, all that you love , blurring the lines just to make it up…and we made it up as we went along

I don’t belong.

Happy for you, but that’s a lie too, when you left me here to latch on

To someone new, no one like you, the potent lure of dependence

Smallness of self, the weight of the earth and each new passing day

From here, from my birth

No more protecting your worth

 

This will get easier with each passing day, I hold onto you until the memory fades…

 

Allusion

Emoti-cope like a lump in throat,
with misanthropic feelers pulling wit from charm and icing the pawns,
for chess or hurling at charity events, the strands curling, hair like fringe and chaotic linger, on and on.

Get over yourself, or maybe she added an f word somewhere before, I can’t remember- it all gets hazy,
after red clears my head and the clouds blow straight up like mushrooms.
Safe all along, the dying crowds, now down, worshipping the wrong ones.

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