Illusions

It’s not as strange as you think, but still I keep you guessing. Is this piece a missing link, or a lie we hold too tightly?

Bitter pills line the sink, and the real ones that keep my safe. All this left me on the brink, of someone who kept on fighting

I’m losing you. I’m losing you.

So my mind isn’t here, still I see daylight when night draws near. The chaos I feel, will soon be subsiding.

For whatever it’s worth. I will always hold you dear. Until you value more, than just a part in the scenery.

I’m losing you, I’m losing you.  (Selfishly)

Eluded to you, elusive to me, all these illusion of who I am and who you’ll never see

The weight of the sky, seems so very light, and I’m done playing pretend for the rest of my life

But I keep on trying to be… so much more  than I am, til nothing exists

Another day of the same, but I feel like the taste has gone away, if you’re looking for words to say, pick ones that are worth denying…

I‘m losing you, I’m losing you

Passenger

Places people and things
Don’t mean anything
if you allow it all back in
whenever it can
Talking with no walking,
Words and lip service and derailed again
My mind a sieve, walked on by myself, makes no sense
Somehow I thought I had this licked
Still the pariah, with the wounds and pricks
The past careening into my neck
At break neck speed snapped me back into my seat
Flung me out in the street
Roadkill and rubber neck
Trampled under foot from all those who wished me dead
It was a bitter pill to choke down
I wish there was more of a warning this time
I relied on you and I don’t know why?
All this love to give, my expectation that you would just bandage me up.
Band aids on a twelve inch cut,
Seriously fucked
Bled out, strip search
And I’d say something like “this will be the last time”,
but I’ve learned enough
call my own bullshit and let the past creep
back in…
to take over
yet again.