I almost got used to missing you.
Almost never gets it done, the trade-off is love:
the dig your heels in the earth kind, revolting against the sky-
your body taken miles from here,
but never the mind.
How my heart aches without you, nothing you get used to,
and I’m glad it’s temporary.
This is like a film splotched up on screen,
played out like so much Hollywood sheen.
Watching Before Sunset alone, and the reminders and cues,
our first silent pauses and what followed afterwards.
The subtle, not stark, revealing, black gives way to blue.
You don’t easily forge ground that holds no foothold on uncharted lands,
long trails that remain hush no matter how many people clutter backroads from backhand.
It was always you and me, and that’s how it will be.
Your goodbye, only temporary.
The need for you, us… lust
and to deny human touch.
Where were you all those years?
I gave up.
My head scanned for you, imminent souls colliding,
physical yearning, and nothing left to deny me.
Nothing special here,
I saved my guts to stretch
out on your bed,
just to hold the back of your head,
your neck clamped in my vice grip fingers.
Weigh me down and pinned inside your spare, fervent thighs,
so tightly wound, box me in,
make the sheets tremor and writhe.
Left to the mercy of night, or anytime the urge
takes you from prostrate,
to legs and waist,
coiling in the sheets where I can find your warm spots,
wasted not– but taken fully in stride,
and grappled flesh, impossible to hide.
Never lost on a man, who cannot adore you enough.
Counting the digital numbers, seconds, and texts;
all drawn out in hours, not breaths
… Until the next moment we touch.
I’d take you anyway you would come
Just know I’m gone before you’re done
It’s in my nature to not care what happens to us
Settled less in your heart more than it ever was
My box shaped heart, jagged lines where butterflies stirred
Dreams of adolescents who found love the first time, possible, inert
Maturity and leftovers, jilted lovers fighting over the scraps
Spilling into streams of lust, I would trade for the hole filled gaps
purpose- stripped of pretense
And all the strings we puppeteer with safety nets
Over and over
Until I walk home, passing your remnants along the road
Moths scurried in darkness, no color to their wings
Three months severed, petty things,
no wisdom to bleed
Are we back to not being friends?
The cycle that never ends,
and remember the time we
couldn’t breathe a single day without??
In & out- left of center, progressed to doubt.
The longest sigh stretched into endless nights
no doubt; there’s no end when second chances are exhausted
into the longest regression you’ve ever endured.
And still, we come back for more.
Withholding shelter, the safety of clenched hands
Singularity, now parallel lands-
worlds we couldn’t possible conceive.
Now my everyday view.
And these words are for me
All the people that pass by
A life we couldn’t possibly perceive.
I have no control over what you think of me
So don’t look back
Just keep moving
We have a ways to go