Ride

Clearing the channel, another one’s on their way.
Pulled up in my new ride, different from the one yesterday.
I’m happy to oblige, I cant hide out in the garage
there too much scenery to partake.
The sweet chassis, the chrome, the wheels
Sidewalks, chasing long legs, tall tales, high heels.
Sell me more then my book value worth.
New models off the assembly line,
to the highway, cars in motion, back and forth.
I’m fine, the blacktop flying by.
Another car salesman lie,
Pedal to the floor, open road, forever sky.
As long as there’s gas,
this won’t be my last ride.

Belong.

You held me close, said don’t let go and I fell into the arms of another

Skinned your knee, the rule of three, strike out the feelings of others

My mother concedes, press on the womb, but it feels so much more like a tomb

And I’ve escaped this alone.

 

My greatest fear, I’d keep you here, all you claimed was your freedom

I’m the same, selfish blame, my kids & the will to release them

Weeks spent between, swaddled here, amidst the loss of connection

Dreamt of you, and the chance to renew, do you still think of me too ?

And all you held in your hands, was never part of the plan. A page in the same book, no one but you and I understand— all that you hate, all that you love , blurring the lines just to make it up…and we made it up as we went along

I don’t belong.

Happy for you, but that’s a lie too, when you left me here to latch on

To someone new, no one like you, the potent lure of dependence

Smallness of self, the weight of the earth and each new passing day

From here, from my birth

No more protecting your worth

 

This will get easier with each passing day, I hold onto you until the memory fades…

 

Terra Nova Love Junky

I’d take you anyway you would come
Just know I’m gone before you’re done
It’s in my nature to not care what happens to us
Settled less in your heart more than it ever was
My box shaped heart, jagged lines where butterflies stirred
Dreams of adolescents who found love the first time, possible, inert
Maturity and leftovers, jilted lovers fighting over the scraps
Spilling into streams of lust, I would trade for the hole filled gaps
purpose- stripped of pretense
And all the strings we puppeteer with safety nets
We commandeer,
Over and over

Until I walk home, passing your remnants along the road
Moths scurried in darkness, no color to their wings
Three months severed, petty things,
no wisdom to bleed

I feel let down,
Not by you
But by myself