Missing

I miss you like the rain
when all the clouds have went astray.
I miss you as if this empty heart,
never went too far
or fell apart.
I miss you when the stars went dead, never fell,
with no more secrets to tell.
I miss the way you smell, the still crackle of time
the ripples in the well.
I miss counting the days you were here, as if they had no end in sight,
and they’re all gone.
I miss the wide eyes, across the room,
the knowing warmth, dancing below the moon.
I miss you like tomorrow will never come.
Feelings unearthed, give rise to new ones.

Belong.

You held me close, said don’t let go and I fell into the arms of another

Skinned your knee, the rule of three, strike out the feelings of others

My mother concedes, press on the womb, but it feels so much more like a tomb

And I’ve escaped this alone.

 

My greatest fear, I’d keep you here, all you claimed was your freedom

I’m the same, selfish blame, my kids & the will to release them

Weeks spent between, swaddled here, amidst the loss of connection

Dreamt of you, and the chance to renew, do you still think of me too ?

And all you held in your hands, was never part of the plan. A page in the same book, no one but you and I understand— all that you hate, all that you love , blurring the lines just to make it up…and we made it up as we went along

I don’t belong.

Happy for you, but that’s a lie too, when you left me here to latch on

To someone new, no one like you, the potent lure of dependence

Smallness of self, the weight of the earth and each new passing day

From here, from my birth

No more protecting your worth

 

This will get easier with each passing day, I hold onto you until the memory fades…