Haven

I must maintain freshness past my expiration date.
I must retaliate… when no one is looking.

There is my face, and protective gear to keep me safe.
Safe from myself.

I must give up the ghost.
I must walk away from shell shock and splatter.

This is but a taste, of a life, of love–of laughter.
This body, my home,
a tender heart that has not expired.

bi•lat•er•al

I almost got used to missing you.
Almost never gets it done, the trade-off is love:
the dig your heels in the earth kind, revolting against the sky-
your body taken miles from here,
but never the mind.
How my heart aches without you, nothing you get used to,
and I’m glad it’s temporary.

This is like a film splotched up on screen,
played out like so much Hollywood sheen.
Watching Before Sunset alone, and the reminders and cues,
our first silent pauses and what followed afterwards.
The subtle, not stark, revealing, black gives way to blue.
You don’t easily forge ground that holds no foothold on uncharted lands,
long trails that remain hush no matter how many people clutter backroads from backhand.
It was always you and me, and that’s how it will be.
Your goodbye, only temporary.

U+Me= Holding On

Everybody moves on.
I keep holding on.
Vice grip blues.
I hold onto you, but you never turned your head to see me.
We thought on the same plane, I existed once
maybe that was my defect. Seems personal now.
But it’s not your problem, you just kept walking
into the sun- or maybe an impasse and then a rest stop to thank the ground for keeping pace
I wanted you to wait for me. I could hear the shuffle of feet
You never said goodbye.
You never told me you’d miss me.
The days stretched into years.
I’m still waiting here.

Depended on, Codependent

I’m addicted to you,
can’t you see how that’s true?
All that we’ve been through,
how do I know who I am
without you
I am just ‘me’
and that’s scary as hell.
Take initiative,
and make yourself well
The door closes behind you.

What would it take for us to
run away from here?
When you were adored
Voice like a conscious cord,
wrapping word
atop fear
bound to necks,
your last breath torn.

…so run away
with all that’s left.
That’s what I want.
You’d hold my head
I’d cry for you,
Cry out to you
these last moments
weren’t meant for two.

I am nothing
without you

And with you
I am never leaving here

Let Go

Catching it from all sides, and you know how that feels.
So grab the guard rail and let go of the wheel.
What is futile, making sense of this place,
in every corner; stifled- without exit or escape.

I dreamt that you left me and that’s enough for me,
because without me there’s only you and traction from where the skid marks grate the pavement.

Not enough that we tried,
effort ignores that stretch of reality.
And the road comes to an end. All things end or we start again…