Good Enough

On my 45th birthday:

I am good with my word, happy to let my secrets be heard.
Circling the drain once again, feels warm as the water pulls me in.
Belief in these expectations, and I’ve played the fool.
Buying all the hype, fitting every stereotype, won’t you tender me?
Waited so long for this to become a reality.
Time and time again, failed me, failed you, failed everyone I knew.
I like when it all goes right, but it’s an exhaustive fight,
breaks my heart, the lost art.
No fault in being human, no fault in being less than.
Either way I’m good…

Ride

Clearing the channel, another one’s on their way.
Pulled up in my new ride, different from the one yesterday.
I’m happy to oblige, I cant hide out in the garage
there too much scenery to partake.
The sweet chassis, the chrome, the wheels
Sidewalks, chasing long legs, tall tales, high heels.
Sell me more then my book value worth.
New models off the assembly line,
to the highway, cars in motion, back and forth.
I’m fine, the blacktop flying by.
Another car salesman lie,
Pedal to the floor, open road, forever sky.
As long as there’s gas,
this won’t be my last ride.

Wasted (no more)

You can’t have me anymore
and whatever you took before
is no longer yours.

Porcelain, stroking the bathroom floor, looking up to a god I couldn’t love, much easier to ignore,
less respect for me,
only fog, hazy thoughts drug through dead end streets…
As if it could get any worse.
That was my last time, no more bile, sweat and terror from shakes, anxious, that tonight will be the same, and no one to remind-
no one there to save me, a used up life. Hated.
Wasted.

You can’t take my soul, this last stroke of light
Spirits moving in and out of me, but no bottle in sight.
The chance to prove them all right,
Or one last desperate chance, claw up from the bottom,
breaking free of darkness– the endless nights.
Left the the way we found them.

You can’t have me anymore, I picked up what was left,
off the floor, one more shot at this–
and I forgive myself.
Existing inside a new life, second sight
and a chance to be reborn.
Wasted no more…