Everything

When it seems we don’t have enough.
When the sky engulfs the horizon.
When loss only throws shadows on our past.

Where my feet touched ground.
Where the city streets broke innocence.
Where everyday was everything.

What looked so precious from afar trapped behind curtains, behind blinds.
Perpetuating a state of grace, forgiving until you leave it all behind.

I am you.

When the Dust Settles Your Ashes are Already Gone

This is a powder keg.
I’m sitting with my legs tucked in,
arms wrapped tight,
thinking is exhausting,
extinguish the light.

stop me if you’ve heard this one before

Or light the fuse, at least then I’ll know,
shifting weight, stark details, should’ve left here long ago.
Blank slate, daylight, somersault, afterglow.

This is a powder keg.
Emotive fuse that I own.

The ash and residue exhaust the horizon.

Wasted (no more)

You can’t have me anymore
and whatever you took before
is no longer yours.

Porcelain, stroking the bathroom floor, looking up to a god I couldn’t love, much easier to ignore,
less respect for me,
only fog, hazy thoughts drug through dead end streets…
As if it could get any worse.
That was my last time, no more bile, sweat and terror from shakes, anxious, that tonight will be the same, and no one to remind-
no one there to save me, a used up life. Hated.
Wasted.

You can’t take my soul, this last stroke of light
Spirits moving in and out of me, but no bottle in sight.
The chance to prove them all right,
Or one last desperate chance, claw up from the bottom,
breaking free of darkness– the endless nights.
Left the the way we found them.

You can’t have me anymore, I picked up what was left,
off the floor, one more shot at this–
and I forgive myself.
Existing inside a new life, second sight
and a chance to be reborn.
Wasted no more…