Aliens Discover Intelligent Life

I’ve breached the Earth’s atmosphere
how I wish I wore clean underwear.
Sorry, mom.
Spacemen circle around me,
“what a strange oddity we have here” they’d say.
He has every opportunity in the world,
they would think to themselves as they continued on with my alien lobotomy.
I hope I signed a waiver.

Finally I can give back.
Finally someone who understands.
Martians aren’t that bad. I’ll swap dispositions
You’d be pissed too if your were a little green man.

I’m glad that somebody got it right.
Maybe I should pay them instead of my shrink.
I’d feel bad if he couldn’t gas up his yacht
and sail off to some island like you see on reality shows
where men & women pretend to give a shit while mugging for the camera.
There is no award for vanity.
15 minutes reduced to 15 seconds between commercial breaks
and some exotic venereal disease.
‘Every opportunity to destroy yourself’
Just give it to me straight, Doc.
I can’t handle it- but I’ll lie to save us all some grief.

Aliens should open up their heads to see what makes them tick.
Vanity trumps insanity every time.

October 9, 2010

“Manic depression is a frustrating mess” – Jimi Hendrix

The intangible objects lay in front of me dancing to my dissatisfaction, restless and piercing the fever and impulses shutting down my brain. I didn’t know what time it was but everyone in the house was long asleep. There was an entire army of sleepless dreadnoughts waiting in the bay to fire at will. Chaos feels like order in the waning and sleep deprived hours between twilight and the next round of shells, fragmenting my mind– what was left of it anyway.

I wasn’t tired; I wasn’t coherent and was coming unglued as well. The scattered pile of ornate things, electronics and a silent television- my only companion; made sense to me and only me, any other person who’d have come in contact would have thought I was hoarding; and maybe I was. The practicality of insanity is that it is very unattractive to the unfamiliar. Fuck those people.

‘Crazy’ becomes a relative term and it still means little to me.

I knew the advent of my disorder was at hand after a late night session like this (and there were so many) and my first episode was a lucid dream or the worst ‘reality show’ you’ve ever seen, because no one could feel like this; no one in their right mind. In the waking hours, or the 25th hour of this new awareness; I would send text messages to my wife like “I am a god; I can smash through walls”. It must have been terrifying for her. Any true friends I had during this period must’ve wanted to float me out to sea and watch from the shoreline. It’s safer from a distance; anyone who’s been to the psych ward will tell you that.

And who would risk safety to push me to dry land?? I would have bailed on myself.

I should have been terrified but instead I was thrilled.