Submission

This written and released, I’ve held on so tight.
What are we without love, without fight?

I submit.

Here I am, found myself circling the block again.
I can’t say I blame you, it’s a finger that points back.
Faulting my past days, the final attack,
no longer worth the strain.

You win.

I’ll be evasive, yet here I face it.
On this stoop where it all began
So far from zero, seeing the streetlights that never waned.
The distance we became.
Memories that cloud dreams.

Breathe, exhale.

Soulmates

You and I will never die
but it’s better to kiss ghosts
than live a lie.
Tricks of youth wonder,
flourished in mind.
Your flush and my hold
a card game of cat and mouse
never growing old.

Ahh, but what am I without you, my dear?

We’ve come too far to give up now.

Shed my skin, this generic pause
Leafing through pics with no purpose at all.
I’m becoming, you’re drifting
it’s simply a means to an end.
My soulmate, my love
my only one
who I’d die for, because

We were meant for greater things.

Picture

Saw a photograph of you yesterday,

not sure we’re the same

I’m happy for you anyway.

Remember that time on the rocks, those moments on the beach, that single afternoon and the stars when the world went on snooze,
simply stopped being, like you and me?

The longest sigh, stretching from here to the moon.
Space rocks awaiting carved initals.
Lost underneath a giving tree.
Together in hidden view, a secret no one else could see.

I saw your photo and I knew.

Life moves, the stillness holds onto the tepid heart.

Each pulse broken in pixels and feigned happiness.

Your pic for someone else to adore,
Whoever that may be.
Saw you in a photograph and my small world reappeared.

Moment in time, dragging a curl into a smile.

Ocean

You can’t absorb the world, Tim

It doesn’t work that way.

They’ve got to slosh through the puddles on their own.

The difference it makes, if any at all,

outside of the grey.

The world that complicates

Puddles into tidal waves

The ocean swallows with disregard.

With a blue-tinged smile,

and sea foam a mile wide.

19

Longest arc, I felt the slope first go downhill into some faraway land.
The streets seemed to go on forever, existence into memories.
Pale under the dark cover of night, bedtime stories, dormitories, this terrified boy now a man.
I still feel it, aching in my bones.
The love for sowing oats and no concern to return home.
I traded you, handed you around, let you off at the corner. Tossed the street urchins change and moved on.
Food carts, wrappers and cigarettes.
Simple child, simpler expectations, no regrets.
Fleeting chill in the air, easing my bones,
giving me back my childhood
and another night of rest.

Connect.

I am missing.

I miss writing scribble resembling prose, conversations going nowhere, rhythmical inflections predisposed.

I miss hands of youthful vigor, broken moments, guiding lights and triggers.
Fighting exhaustive battles between two poles, long defeats, stumbling, whereabouts unknown.

I miss the sentiment and platitudes, taking cities one pavement at a time, reliance and gratitude, longing again for the first time.

I miss the fight, the excuse to stay,
slipping under the cover of night,
in the getaway car so I can run away.

I miss the days, darkened rooms, the palpable dismay,
looking for corners where I can hide in the fray.
Under shelter, accepting surrender, the ambient light of this new day.

I am missing.