Freefall

Maybe you boys will finally get the daddy you need,
cause there’s nothing left in me.
You pointed your finger, fired a shot,
I pretended to die
played dead,
stuck my head in the clouds one last time.

You can’t spend your life
floating in the sky.

Falling away, from both of you.
He’ll take care, be what you need.
There’s nothing left of me.

Fade Away

Girl, why you gotta try so hard, when people don’t care who you are.
Boy, why you gotta be yourself, when everyone wants you to be someone else.
Kid, don’t grow up so fast, these schoolyard moments never last.
Dad, I heard your call from across the hall,
said you wanted me to stay strong,
For your mother, he said.
Nothing is forever.

Someday.

I can’t live for someday, I can only live for today.
The joy of holiday lights, accompanying the quiet waltz of two lovers finally awake.
Discarding restless pasts, tired eyes to gaze.
No longer staring into souls, hearts fawning out the flames,
once set ablaze.
Starlight, where space infinitely yawns at our dilemma.
Ever knowing presence of the moon and its gravitational pull.
Constant, predictable—the earth feels the tug, relentless, yet forgiving.
Loving.
Always returning for another pass. Only several blinks away.
Doing it all over tomorrow.
Again and again.

Connect.

I am missing.

I miss writing scribble resembling prose, conversations going nowhere, rhythmical inflections predisposed.

I miss hands of youthful vigor, broken moments, guiding lights and triggers.
Fighting exhaustive battles between two poles, long defeats, stumbling, whereabouts unknown.

I miss the sentiment and platitudes, taking cities one pavement at a time, reliance and gratitude, longing again for the first time.

I miss the fight, the excuse to stay,
slipping under the cover of night,
in the getaway car so I can run away.

I miss the days, darkened rooms, the palpable dismay,
looking for corners where I can hide in the fray.
Under shelter, accepting surrender, the ambient light of this new day.

I am missing.

Circling the Stars

Calling out and you’re not there.
We had all we wanted but I couldn’t see.
I live in half-truths, spent time from wasted youth,
or one last time to be next to you.
To feel your calm. To feel your unrest.

Can you see it for what it is?
Circling, circling…only to find dead ends.
With your tongue in cheek, you can’t speak, but you know it’s already been said.

No one sees you for who you are. Circling the stars…

Illusions

It’s not as strange as you think, but still I keep you guessing. Is this piece a missing link, or a lie we hold too tightly?

Bitter pills line the sink, and the real ones that keep my safe. All this left me on the brink, of someone who kept on fighting

I’m losing you. I’m losing you.

So my mind isn’t here, still I see daylight when night draws near. The chaos I feel, will soon be subsiding.

For whatever it’s worth. I will always hold you dear. Until you value more, than just a part in the scenery.

I’m losing you, I’m losing you.  (Selfishly)

Eluded to you, elusive to me, all these illusion of who I am and who you’ll never see

The weight of the sky, seems so very light, and I’m done playing pretend for the rest of my life

But I keep on trying to be… so much more  than I am, til nothing exists

Another day of the same, but I feel like the taste has gone away, if you’re looking for words to say, pick ones that are worth denying…

I‘m losing you, I’m losing you

What the Curtain Hides

I want you to save me. Gone for a moment, to live in eternity. Looking-glass-self. Become someone else.

Strange to see you here now. Wayward travelers spanning lost freedoms, now one with the world. Closing in.

Small enough to see the end.

Comparing how I felt. All of those precious moments competing at once. For a single moment.

You’ll forget me when I leave this place.

This curtain hides me well, drapes around my wrists, where they once became fists. Tired of the relentless beating of my own defects. Much softer around my neck.

Hidden until eternity comes.